Dear Leonardo DiCaprio,
I am incredibly flattered that you read my blog posts every single day. I’m sure that you sit on the edge of your seat waiting for me to post something new. I understand that constant refreshing of the page. Lots of people do it.
Anyway, what I would like to say to you is that unfortunately I’m in a committed relationship. Please don’t be heartbroken. Maybe I can talk my boyfriend into letting him share with you. I’m sure for a small monetary gift he would consider it.